Happy Birthday to my little baby girl. Not so little anymore... Wow one years old! Where did the past year go? I feel like since Claire Bear has been born our life has been moving in fast forward. I know I have talked about this before but really that's really how I feel.
Just so I don't forget and so my little baby never feels neglected I want to jot down some of my memories of Claire in a letter.
One years old. How can that be? I remember one year ago today when you first were put in my arms. You were sticky and pink (actually pretty white) and bright eyes. Quickly after you were born you were whisked away from me. One of the most horrible moments in my life so far. You couldn't breath and needed to get some help from the CPAP machine. As your mother my heart was leaving the room as you were taken from me. When the got you settled in the NICU they wheeled me up to see you and with tears in my eyes and pains in my heart I was able to only reach for your little feet. Despite the tubes, lights, and sounds, you looked so peaceful. Luckily you didn't have to stay long although the 7 hours you were there felt like eternity. I kept calling the nurses station asking them to please check and see when you were going to be brought down to me. I think they thought I was a being a pest. It was the first of many times, I know, that I fought to be with my little girl. I want you to know Claire that I will always fight for you. You, my dear, are an angel sent from God. I am your earthly mother trying really hard to help guide you through this crazy life.
Your first year of life has been a roller coaster. You have had many problems with feeding (lactose intolerance = major fussiness = very unhappy baby at times. When we got that taken care of your sweet and gentle nature emerged. You have shown to be strong willed just like your older brother and sister. I always say "you know what you want when you want it!" I think that is true with all of you. You are a studier. You look at people with deep observation and when they pass your test you smile. You love to laugh with your siblings. They love to make you laugh. You love to be independent, and you love your mommy and daddy time. You are a Daddy's girl! When Daddy comes in the room you leap out of my arms (truly you leap I am ashamed to say I have almost dropped you a few times because you were so strong and squirmy). You are close to walking but not quite. You crawl all over the place. Your favorite is when I put the stair gates down and you move as fast as your little arms and legs can carry you to go up the stairs. I think it is some sort of game with you now. Just today you learned how to go down the stairs. Head first! I was nervous to let you do this but since it was just to the step down living room (5 stairs) I figured I should let you try. You did it on the first try! I was so proud of you, but your Daddy is still a little nervous to let you try this move too much. I am not though. I know you can do it and do it you will! There is no stopping you my little Claire.
So today on your very special first birthday I want you to know how much I love you. How much you have changed my life and made me a better mother and woman. I am so grateful for all of your little hugs and kisses. They make me melt now and I know they will make me melt forever! I love you angel!
Claire at 6 weeks old