Silence The thoughts of you fill my mind Your quiet sweet surrender I long for. If only for a brief moment that I might feel your Peace come over me That I might only hear my deep steady breaths And nothing more. I am overwhelmed at the thoughts of quiet, peace, silence.
Will you ever come Save me from the chaos clutter noise and screaming that surround me?
My mind is a blur an empty cavity searching desperately for silence to be alone.
This is how I am feeling after my horrific church experience today. I felt like a leaper with my wild monkey children. No one wanted to be near us but everyone was staring. It was humiliating. I am at a loss. Really, at a loss.
* Just to be clear... I know things will get better, and I know that these feelings will only last for a moment. I probably just need to get some sleep.
Yesterday was a beautiful day and my green thumb came out. Addy and I went and picked out some yummy herbs for all of our fun Summer dishes and decided it was time to plant. James and Addy had fun putting it all together... as you can see.
My mouth is watering just thinking of all of the tasty dishes we are going to cook up.
Addy is becoming more and more like Nana every day. Her love for flowers is overwhelming. She needs to stop wherever we go and smell, pick or admire all of the beauty that surrounds her. That is just how Nana was. She would soak it all in. I sure miss her.
I feel like it has been a long time since I really blogged. The past several weeks have been super busy for us. We have been recovering from illness (all better now), enjoying visits from my mom, dad and brothers. Got to enjoy meeting my soon to be sister-in-law's family (Thanks for coming down guys!), and pleading with the heavens to bring us some warmer weather and blue skys. I am happy to report we are now enjoying good health AND good weather, FINALLY!!! I don't know how long its going to last so I am going to relish in it as long as possible. I was painfully reminded yesterday that I am NEVER to let my kids play outside without sunblock on. Even thought the weather was in the low 60's the sun was shining BRIGHT and poor little Addy felt the effects of it. So our morning routine will now consist of lathering up to keep my kids pale porclin skin protected. Now all we have to do is put up our fence in our backyard (should be in about 10 days if I can just get a hold of the landscaper to move our sprinklers first...arggg) and the Summer O' Fun shall commence in full swing. Addy keeps asking me if it is warm enough outside for the sprinklers. I think we might hold off on that for a couple more weeks though.
In other news Addy is on the countdown to her 4th birthday. One month from today Addy turns 4 years old. She is already planning her party and daily tears are shed that its not her birthday tomorrow. She still struggles with her understanding of time. The pains of childhood, waiting! I do have to say that I have noticed her growing up and maturing a lot lately. She is so helpful with Luke and Claire and is so loving. I just wish she still took naps. Not for me, but for her. She just falls apart in the afternoons because well she is pretty much done in! I think I am going to reinsititute quiet afternoon time. She just needs to rest in some way. Hopefully that will help make our afternoons (the witching hours 4-7pm) happier for everyone. I still can't believe that Addy is getting so old. One more year and she is going to be in Kindergarten. How does time fly so fast? I feel like I blink and my kids are another year older. WOW!
Luke has been talking up a storm. He has the sweetest way about him but also can push Addy's buttons when he wants to. He is very stubborn and won't usually change his mind unless he is fully distracted from what he was focused on. His favorite food is tortillas with cheese and beans. He lovingly refers to this meal as "tia beans." He would eat it for every meal if I let him and to be honest some days I do. I just hate to fight the food battle. I have though tried to change it up lately and he has started to try some new foods, YEA! I think its just part of life. Kids go though their picky stage and they eventually they get out of it. Luke is so loving and sweet. He loves his sisters. He loves to play with Addy and every time she is gone he will ask about 100 times "Addy go mom?" It is so sweet to see the relationship that is developing among the kids. I love it!
Claire is my little angel. She is in a great place right now. She rarely cries (thank goodness). At almost, 7 months, she is sitting up with support, loves to smile and interact with everyone in the family, and is eating food 2 times a day. Claire is an amazing sleeper. She takes two naps a day and goes to bed for the night at 6:30pm. Claire is so adaptable. As the third child she has to adjust to the schedule of everyone else. I am so grateful for her sweet and tender spirit. I love the quiet moments I have with her where she lets me cuddle her and gaze at her beautiful face. I see a lot of her sister in her. I am excited to watch her grow and see her personality come more and more alive.
For the past 2 1/2 months I have been participating in a weight training program. Most people who know me know that I am not much of an exerciser. I didn't ever really catch the passion for exercising... until now. Participating in this program has given me a new found excitement for exercise. I am able to exercise for 1 hour a day 5 days a week. It has been so much fun to have some time to myself and feel my self getting stronger. I have not seen much weight loss (darn baby weight) but I do feel so good. I feel stronger with so much more energy. It is a great start to the day and I am loving the quiet time I get to have without the demands of motherhood weighing on me. It centers me for the day and motivates me to be more active with my kids. I am even training for two different races this Spring and Summer. I am writing about this because I want it to be a reminder to myself when things get hard. I LOVE IT, and hope I keep it up forever! I am a better mother for it!
Okay thats it for now. I am going to go build a fort with the kids... what are you going to do?
On Saturday Mom and I had our photographs taken by the amazing photographer Justin Hackworth. His project is called 30 Days 30 Strangers. It was a wonderful experience. My mother and I have never done anything like this and I am so grateful for the opportunity! Thank You Justin for capturing us so well. You are awesome!